I already hate driving in the rain, but today was the worst. We’re talking torrential downpour. I was on my way to Lake City Community College (excuse me, Florida Gateway College) for my math class and I could barely even see the road I was driving on. I’m not going to lie, I was kind of scared. I tend to be a bit of a pessimistic thinker, so of course all of the worst-case scenarios are running through my head. So here I am, leaning into my steering wheel, squinting my eyes, and singing I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin (I can be slightly dramatic) on a seemingly endless road. I started to think, “You know what? This is what my life feels like.” I mean, I am a senior in High School, I have all of these life changing decisions to make, and I want to know what God’s will for my life is… but I just feel like I’m driving blindly. I can’t see what’s ahead and to be honest, that scares me. I feel like at any moment I could start hydroplaning and lose control.
But then, I caught up with a little green van. It had probably been in front of me all along, but I couldn’t see it because of the rain. It wasn’t raining any less hard, but somehow I started to feel better now that another car was in view. I didn’t feel so alone. I had “a guide.” “Alright God, what are you trying to teach me?” I asked. But I already knew. I may feel like I could lose control at any moment but you know what, I was never the one in control to begin with. God is in control of my life. I just have to loosen my grip on the steering wheel and let Him do the driving. And like the little green van, God is my guide. He goes before me, directing my steps (Deuteronomy 31:7). I don’t know what lies ahead, but He has already shaped my future.
When I finally make it to my math class we were working on the kind of problems that take up a whole sheet of paper to come up with one answer. I get so frustrated when I get one of these problems wrong and have to start all over again. It is usually because of one little mistake I made in the very beginning of working the problem, like I forgot to carry down a negative sign or something. I used to think God’s will was like that. What if I make a mistake now, at the beginning of the page? Will I totally miss out on God’s plan for my future? But I’m starting to think differently. I’ve already made a lot of mistakes, but God hasn’t given up on me yet. Maybe there is “an easy way and a hard way” but somehow He will get me to where He wants me to go. My goal is to be obedient even though I don’t know what’s next. To keep my eyes fixed on Him rather than where I am going. Even when it’s raining. :)
“But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD;
in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death.”
-Psalm 141:8
-CD :)
